We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I’m reading into everything
But there’s no sign you hear the lightning baby
“So, how long you’re gonna stay there?” asked Blake, voice husky-yet tender over the phone.
A smile crept onto Chris’ lips, hearing the sound of concern from his friend. “Two weeks…” he paused shortly, “maybe.”
It wasn’t that he hadn’t planned on this trip; it was just that he needed a time off from his life, a time off from his tight schedule, and a time off from his-supposed-to-be friend-only, Blake.
“Oh,” was Blake only reply. Chris could hear that Blake wanted to say more, but nothing else came through the speakerphone.
“Oh, what?” Chris enquired with a curiosity tone, trying to fish out more appropriate response from Blake.
“Nothing, it’s… ah…” Blake started. “It’s just that you went without telling me, and you’re not here now, and two weeks…” A sigh was heard over the phone, adding to incoherent bubbling of Blake. One must think that he’s in a desperate mood.
“I’m gonna miss you, man…” Blake whispered softly, a couple decibels only but still audible for Chris’ ears.
“Me too, bro…” Chris knew that this kind of banter was usual for them, they spoke “I love you” to each other, and both knew that it meant brotherly love, nothing more.
You don’t ever notice me turning on my charm
Or wonder why I’m always where you are
If Blake only knew how Chris would be missing him oh-so-much. He tried to show Blake about his feeling, tried in everyway he could, but somehow it’d done no impact.
They were inseparable since the first time they met, if there was Blake, then Chris would be there too. They relied on each other, Chris couldn’t count how many times he has to carry drunken-Blake back to the apartment after partying on a nightclub, and Blake was always there when Chris missed his family back home. They related to each other, up to the point where people talk about Blake, they would have to talk about Chris.
Unfortunately, they were still just friends. Not that it was a bad thing; it was just… not enough for Chris.
I heard you talked about
How you want someone just like me
But every time I ask you out
We never move passed friendly
Sitting alone on swinging chair at his parent’s veranda, Chris stared onto unparticular object that passed by. It’d been two days since their last conversation over the phone, and his mind was still filled with Blake. Blake’s smile. Blake’s moves. Even Blake’s antics.
It was countless of time when Blake would say that if he had a boyfriend, then he would prefer someone like Chris. But it was just a joke, as Blake always laughed it off like it was some kind of ordinary joke.
Heaving a sigh, Chris realized that it wasn’t working. He went to his hometown just to get Blake out of his mind, but until now, it’d done no advanced, he still stuck on his current position. Hopelessly in love with a man whom didn’t even recognize about Chris’ deepest emotion.
You don’t ever notice how I stare when we’re alone
Or wonder why I keep you on the phone
A realization struck into Chris’ mind. He never told Blake what he was feeling; he never told how much Blake meant for him. They were always joking around, and Chris knew that for once, he needed to say the real thing that he’d been keeping inside his heart. This time, it was serious.
Making up his mind, he wandered into the house, and then sitting on the sofa. His left hand reached the phone, dialing some familiar numbers that engraved on his mind.
You are my very first thought in the morning
And my last at nightfall
You are the love that came without warning
I need you I want you to know
“This is Bshorty, I’m not home, so speak up.”
It was Blake’s machine. Even better then, so Chris wouldn’t have to deal with Blake directly. All he had to do was just saying what he wanted to say now.
“Blake, it’s me… Chris” he said, gathering up some courage for what he was going to say next.
“I was just calling to say that I… I miss you,” he paused for a second, controlling his heartbeat that ran two miles a minute.
I’ve made it obvious
I’ve done everything but sing it
I crushed on you so long
I’m not so good with words
But since you never notice the way that we belong
I sing it in a love song
“I… I just want you to know that I… I like you… more than a friend does…” Chris continued, “damn it, Blake, all I could think of is you… I sleep dreaming of you, and I wake thinking about you…”
Chris took a deep breath, thoughts after thoughts of Blake still running through his mind. A familiar melody went through his mind, and before he knew it, he hummed softly into the phone.
A love song and sing it
Until the day you’re holding me
I want it for so long
But on and on you get me wrong
I’m more than adore you
But since you never seem to see
I sing it in this love song
It was a simple song, a song of hope and expectation. A song that would describe what Chris was feeling for Blake right now. This was it, this is the final truth. With a whisper he finally spoke the three magic words.
“I love you”